At the bottom of things: Lynn Valley, North Vancouver October 4, 2014
There and back again… Part 3 September 13, 2014
The letter has arrived… I found out on Thursday morning standing in my kitchen. I would be taking my oath of citizenship in two weeks time. No clue yet how to handle flights, work and whether taking the family might be a bad idea (read: renewed homesickness).
Five minutes later… I am making tea, turning to look out of the window into a grey morning. Suddenly I am thinking of the ocean, beaches, a beautiful sunset… then more space, the sky, mountains disappearing in the clouds… the passing of a friend during my last trip…
The heart ache is back, tears rolling, the space time continuum is sucking me in… time travel…
Then the kettle boils, my son comes bouncing in demanding breakfast, the hand of the clock keeps inadvertently moving towards departure time… zoom…
I am back right here in this little room, two months later wondering what the next trip to Canada will bring…
Some days everything works out just fine August 31, 2014
I am early for my yoga class. A rare occurrence. I had the day off and thought it would be a mad dash to get everything done, but things aligned just right. In the morning it turned out my doctor was away still on vacation opening up another hour or so that I did not to spend in a waiting room. Straight after I unexpectedly ran into one of my best friends on the way to the market putting me into a great mood. Spending some quality time with my husband in the afternoon made my day…
Some days everything works out just fine…
I wrote this a couple of days ago and just realized that today was another one of those days, where everything worked out just fine.
My son had his “starting school party” today. In Germany, this is a big occasion with lots of food and drink and family and friends and….
It was a lot of work to prepare everything but the day was great. Everyone including me enjoyed themselves and said so after. The atmosphere was relaxed, everyone found someone to chat with and there were quite a few people which had not seen each other in years that were reconnecting.
Now I am tired, grateful, absolutely stuffed with food and trying not to worry too much about the actual first day of school on Monday. This reminds me a bit of his birth. Everything and everyone was focused on getting us prepared for the birth process and after that the real work started and we had no clue what we were in for.
But the last six years went quick. And being parents has been such a great adventure and learning experience that I would not want to miss any of it. Now we are off to the next leg of the journey.
I think gratitude will serve us well no matter what. Counting our blessings and knowing that after rain there will be sunshine; and there certainly will be times when we have to go with the flow not knowing where that will lead us but above all that some days everything works out just fine.
Where it all startet II August 24, 2014
I have been struggling with acceptance lately and suddenly… flash… I stopped holding on. My mind cleared.
We were cleaning house today. Such a relief to tackle some of that clutter. I so needed that. Then I picked up one of my yoga books, I forgot I had. “Meditations from the Mat” by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison. Reading day 1: “A spiritual practice is one that brings us full circle – not to a new self but, rather, back to the essence of our true selves. Yoga is the practice of celebrating what is. [...] It is the aim of all spiritual seeking to bring us home, home to the understanding that we already have everything we need.”
That was it. The end of my struggle. The last few weeks, months, I started to worry that I was loosing “my yoga” again. But it was there all along. With me. Waiting for me to sit down, take a break, calm my mind and be present.
I started blogging two years ago, on August 27th to be exact. Back then, we were living in Berlin. We had just moved there from Vancouver. Shortly after we moved again to a much smaller town. We haven’t looked back.
I have also had a hard time to sit down and write lately. Well, I think I started again. Just now.
Sometimes, we need to walk a little further. Peek around the next corner to move forward. Letting go of the fear…
Coming full circle. Touchdown. Reset. Start again.
There and back again… Part 2 July 25, 2014
I have traveled 70 miles, enjoyed the beautiful rolling hills and made new friends.
I truly needed this time for myself. The hectic months had left me struggling for air. Things felt like they were unraveling.
I found out that cleansing techniques and fasting involve so much more than relieving the physical body of toxins, waste and what else we do not need. The emotional cleansing that is part of this process was even more rewarding.
I arrived Sunday morning with many fears, mainly unrelated to my stay, and with a merry-go-round in my head. So many draining thoughts.
Today, I left with a big smile on my face, a huge thank you in my heart and a spring in my step.
This morning I also said good-bye to a dear friend that passed away recently. I had the chance to celebrate his life on several heart-warming occasions during the last few weeks, when I was spending time with close friends, talking about him and what had happened. Now I feel I have come full circle and it was time to let him go. It was sad and beautiful and unique.
I feel very grateful that this is my 100th blog post. Especially, during such an overwhelmingly positive time with all these changes starting to take shape.
There and back again…